


Chamaeleon White

by facelesswriting



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, M/M, OOC Sirius, Poor Disguises, Rating May Change, Short Chapters, Slow Burn, WIP, honestly this entire plot is ridiculous, i'll add as i go - Freeform, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 08:44:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11620029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/facelesswriting/pseuds/facelesswriting
Summary: Sirius Black has just escaped from the Kiss but with the ministry in chaos after the World Cup, he decides he can get away with coming back disguised. He gets a job at Hogwarts, and no one seems to be able to tell that he isn't who he says he is - no one has any common sense, anyway, right?I got the idea from a tumblr post I read and thought it deserved to be written.https://xtaticpearl.tumblr.com/post/163173645461/kiernaserea-thefingerfuckingfemalefury





	1. "A stray" Mhm, sure it is

**Author's Note:**

> So I know I'm trash and like all my other works are unfinished, but I'm starting a new one so here ya go. I'll post as I write, but there's not going to be any semblance of schedule for this, sorry!

They trudged up the lane to the Burrow, feeling as if they’d just come back from a battle rather than a sporting event. The moment Arthur pushed open the gate, a hysterical Molly flew to wrap each of them in a hug in quick succession.

“Oh! I heard- I heard that there was an attack on the World Cup! Fires, the Mark in the air, I feared - I feared the worst are you all--? And Ginny, my sweet! Are you all right? And George!”

“Fred,” he corrected, as she wrapped him in a hug.

“And Fred!”

“George,” he cracked a smile as she moved to him.

“And oh-!” A bark rattled down the lane, cutting her off, and a large dog barrelled into Harry, knocking him over before Mrs Weasley could hug him too. “Oh, my!” She shouted, reaching for her wand, but Harry was laughing.

“It’s all right, Mrs Weasley! He’s a stray I took care of in Little Whinging,” He rushed to explain. Eyeing the dog disapprovingly, he added, “I’ve no idea how he found me.”

“Well, Harry, you know dogs have startlingly amazing navigational senses and are known to be able to track things ‘round countries. It’s due to the magnetization of-” Hermione began to prattle, adopting her lecturing tone that they all knew could go on for hours. The Weasleys began to grab their things to travel inside as she rattled on, but Harry grinned at her as she winked at him and ruffled Padfoot’s ears. “It’s near magical.”


	2. "I swear that's not Padfoot"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles aren't quotes from the chapter, it's just the general overview of what nonsense is happening right now. They might get more serious, they might not.

“Sirius!” Harry exclaimed as he shut Ginny’s bedroom door behind him and Hermione. It was the first time they could get alone all day. “What were you thinking?”

Sirius stood, shaking off Padfoot’s fur and plopped himself onto Hermione’s bed, across from Ginny’s. “Come, now, it’s almost like you aren’t excited to see me!”

Harry grinned as he wrapped his godfather in a hug, it’s not that - honestly - it’s just that you could get caught so easily. Did you get my letter?”

“That’s why I’m here. I knew you needed me. About this dream-”

Hermione huffed from where she still stood by the door. “That’s all fine and well, but what if Ron had recognized you? He knows you’re a good man, but we could never tell him we freed you. It was illegal! We could’ve been jailed, or worse-”

“Expelled?” Harry guessed.

Hermione shot him a glare, “I was going to say ‘killed’, but sure, laugh at me.” She crossed her arms petulantly. “We need a better plan.”

“I have one!” Sirius claimed, indignant.

“Oh, yes, I’m sure it’ll be wonderful. What exactly is it?”

“Didn’t you hear that the ministry’s in shambles right now? It’s easy,” Sirius explained, leaning forward to pluck Harry’s glasses off his nose and settle them onto his own. “I’m not Sirius Black.”

***

Hermione had huffed out of the room after giving Harry a look that clearly stated, “This is ridiculous, he’s your problem now,” and had gone down to dinner. It left the boys to chuckle before Sirius had to shift back into his dog form to follow her.

Now, Harry was laying in his bed, listening to Ron repeatedly take a breath to speak, then change his mind.

“Mate?” He finally asked.

“Hm?”

“This is going to sound crazy.”

“Just say it, Ron. You know I sound stark raving mad half the time.”

Ron laughed, “That’s true, but.. That dog… Does he remind you of anything?”

“Uhm..” Harry hesitated, feeling Padfoot tense where he was laying across his feet. The Minister had confronted Dumbledore in front of Harry at the end of last school year, saying Dumbledore had been the one to let Sirius escape. He’d sworn Harry to secrecy, then, deciding on a cover-up. The rest of the wizarding world thought that Sirius Black had been Kissed. Ron couldn’t possibly know otherwise. Hermione never would have told him, and yet…

“I’m sorry, I’m probably just seeing things,” Ron went on. “He’s just a dog, and I guess I’m still a little tweaked after my leg. I know it couldn’t be him. I’m sorry I brought it up, Harry.”

“It’s okay, Ron. I guess any big black dog looks about the same. Maybe that’s why I like him so much.” Padfoot puffed out a relieved sigh as Harry shifted, ready to finally sleep since they were in clear, for now.


	3. "I have a cousin you've never heard of, no really, I swear"

The next morning, Harry woke to the house in a state of disarray. There was barking from downstairs and Mrs Weasley seemed to be shrieking. Ron and Harry glanced at each other before jumping from their beds and racing to the kitchen.

“I’m so sorry, Remus! He’s just a stray! We wouldn’t have let him in the house if we knew!”

Padfoot was cornering Remus Lupin, hackles raised and teeth bared. Remus had puffed his chest, and was making direct eye contact with the creature, challenging it. “Oh, it’s quite all right, Molly. Some animals just have this reaction, you know? They just seem to sense me.”

Padfoot had been continuously growling deep in his chest as Remus spoke from where he still stood in the doorway. A slight twitch was their only warning before Padfoot lunged.

“Corporis protego!” Remus shouted, and a little bubble formed around him, stopping Padfoot from physically connecting with him, but the force of the impact still knocked Remus backwards into the yard. Padfoot was atop the bubble, pushing it inwards and snapping at it, but Remus kicked both his feet into the dog’s ribs to push him off. He hit the ground with a yelp as Remus rolled onto all fours and bared his own teeth at the animal, his eyes flashing yellow as his teeth elongated.

Padfoot was slow getting back to his feet and seemed to hesitate deciding if he wanted to re-engage with the man growling at him. Remus made the decision for him when he lunged forward, snarling. Padfoot yelped again before turning heel and running down the Weasley’s lane, away from their house.

It was odd to watch Remus stand up and dust off his clothes, while he still had canine features, but only his eyes still glowed by the time he reached the door and had shut it behind him.

“Sorry about that.”

“What did you do?” Harry shouted. “That dog was-!”

“Come now, Harry, he was only a stray.” Hermione walked across the kitchen to grab his arm under the guise of being comforting, but really she had him in a vise grip. “You can’t really expect Professor Lupin to have to have a mad dog after him while he’s here. I know you cared for him, but he might still come back later.”

“I-” Harry looked at her questioningly, “I see your point?”

“And it is good to see you again, Professor.” Hermione transitioned smoothly, going to hug their old professor even as he tensed, his eyes having not quite returned to normal.

“Oh, no need to call me professor. Remus will do just fine.”

“Well, let’s get you some tea to calm down,” Molly offered as Harry went to hug Remus as well. “You are still taking your potion, I presume? What with staying with Severus and all it must make it quite simpler.”

The normal bustle of breakfast time resumed as the children gave Remus an odd look. “Yes, well it is an odd living situation,” he replied as though he hadn’t noticed them. “Though I am very grateful to Severus for allowing me to stay with him until the old place is ready, he won’t hear a word of thanks. He just says it’s his responsibility since he lost me the job.” He dropped his voice conspiratorially as Molly placed his tea and a platter of sausage and tomatoes on the table, “He actually seems rather embarrassed by his lack of temper, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

Mr Weasley laughed, “I imagined he might be. How is the old place coming? Will it be soon?”

“Yes, yes. I should be ready in just a few weeks now. That’s actually why I’m here. A cousin of mine is coming into town, but I haven’t anywhere for him to stay quite yet. I know you’ve got a rather full lot yourselves, but I had hoped-”

“Oh, of course your cousin can stay here, Remus! Is he going to be here shortly?” Remus nodded and she continued, “Why is he coming into town?”

Remus hesitated, looking around the table, just briefly stopping on Harry before flitting past, but Harry got the message to stay quiet. “Well, I was good friends with Sirius back in school before everything went wrong. He left the place to me, but as I can’t hold land..” He trailed off and waved his hand as if to say, “It is what it is.”

“But!” Harry shouted, and Hermione kicked him under the table. “You can’t have property? Why? Because you’re a werewolf? That’s barbaric! That’s completely unfair!”

Remus smiled at him sadly, but it was Mr Weasley who answered, “Yes, these are troubling times. We’d been moving forward, but everything just seemed to go to a standstill a few years back.”

Everyone knew that he was referencing the War, and they all went quiet, afraid to break the stillness. Then, Mr Weasley “Hmm”ed and opened his newspaper, and conversation changed to the twins attempting to pester their father once more as to what the big news was that was coming to Hogwarts this year.

Their pleas were cut short as simultaneous knocking was heard on all four walls of the kitchen. Harry and Hermione jumped, but Mrs Weasley just calmly reached for Remus’ hand.

“Yes, yes. That’s his signature on the wards.” Harry and Hermione looked to each other, only half understanding that the knocking was some sort of doorbell on the wards around the Burrow.

A few moments later, a real knock was heard on the door, and Mrs Weasley rose to answer it as all the chatter fell quieter, as the children strained to see the newcomer.

“Oh, hello! You must be Remus’ cousin. Do come in, come in.” Mrs Weasley opened the door a little further.

“Pleased to meet you,” Sirius Black said as he walked around the door with nothing but a large, oval pair of glasses on to disguise himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> corporis means physical in latin (or at least Google says so), so it's a physical shield, not one to block spells


	4. "Give me a job and don't ask for qualifications"

Sirius chuckled to himself as he walked into Hogwarts. He’d already been to the ministry this morning to turn in his visa, and not a single person had given him a second glace. It was well and truly like he was a new person.

Then, at the Burrow, Harry’s face had been so ridiculous as he’d fawned over The Boy Who Lived, getting flustered and shaking in the face of “such greatness”. He’d sat and eaten with the Weasleys, learning what they’d been up to these last few year, but then he politely excused himself for the job interview that Remus had set up for him. The Triwizard Tournament was returning this year, and with the large influx of students, Hogwarts was hiring a second caretaker for the year.

He strolled down the hall to the office he’d been sent to so many times over the years, pretending to struggle with the map the house elf had presented him with when he’d arrived. He turned a corner, and his step almost wobbled as he came face to face with the resident bat - or resident prat, if he did say so himself. He chuckled to himself again before beaming a smile at the man and continuing his way along the hall, even as Severus Snape stopped and stared at his passing.

The eagle carried him to the Headmaster’s office easily, and he knocked politely on the door. “I do apologise for my tardiness,” he said when he entered, “I had a bit of navigation trouble in getting here. I’m Chamaeleon White. It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

Dumbledore stood, a pleasant smile on his face. “Yes, it takes a small while to learn your way once you’ve lost it, but a fresh perspective always does help.” He reached to shake Sirius’ hand. “Please do take a seat Mr White. Remus has told me nothing but wonderful things about you, but I must say, what a peculiar name: Chamaeleon. Do you, too, change often?”

“One wakes as a new person every morning, I like to say.”

“That one does,” Dumbledore replied, his eyes twinkling, “That one does.”

***

The interview was short, and Sirius - Chamaeleon - was being awarded the position in no time. The Headmaster offered to show him to Filch’s expanded office space, but Chamaeleon refused. “I can find it.”

Dumbledore lifted one grey eyebrow in question.

Chamaeleon laughed, holding up his map, “I’ve got to start learning my way around at some point, don’t I? I can’t get lost every time.”

“Too true. One must learn their way without their past burdens weighing them down.”

Chamaeleon smiled with a skip in his step as he wandered to his new office. Filch was nowhere to be found when he opened the door, and he decided to do a little snooping. He slipped over to the file cabinet to see if his records were still there and was rifling through them when another caught his eye.

He pulled Harry’s out of the drawer and flopped into a chair to read the rather large file. He was proud that it was so extensive, but not even a quarter of the way through, he was interrupted.

The door flew open and banged against the wall with a crash. Severus Snape stood there snarling. He demanded, “What are you playing at, Black?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, caught so soon? Story over. The End.


	5. "I'm gonna be his best friend, just you wait"

“It’s White, actually, but a lot of people get the colour confused at first, no worries!” Chamaeleon jumped up, going to shake Snape’s hand.

Snape did not offer his own hand in return. “You are not who you say you are. What are you doing here. You’re supposed to be dead.”

“Odd welcome,” Chamaeleon chuckled, running his fingers through his hair, embarrassedly acting like he hadn’t been going to a handshake. “But yeah, you’re right. My friends just call me Cam. But I’ll be honest with you, I was snooping on Harry Potter’s file. I met him this morning! I mean Remus said that he knew him, but when I walked into breakfast I didn’t expect him to be there at my table!”

“Remus? You’ve been in my house?” Snape demanded. “That brat has been in my house!”

“Goodness, no! I met my cousin at the Weasley’s today,” Chamaeleon shrank back, cowed. “I would never go into someone’s house without being invited, especially not someone I don’t know. Oh! Erm, who are you by the way?”

“Like you don’t know!” Snape roared, his robes snapping behind him as he stormed from the room.

Chamaeleon chuckled. That went well for the first time meeting a coworker.

***

Cam walked into the Burrow shortly after lunch to find the Weasley patriarch sitting with his cousin.

“Wotcher!” Chamaeleon announced himself, and the two jumped like they were discussing something private. “Oh, did I interrupt?”

“No, no,” Mr Weasley assured. “How’d the interview go?”

“I got the job! You were right, Remmy, the Headmaster is a wonderful man, very friendly. I met one of my coworkers, too! He seemed the less friendly sort though.”

“Hm,” Was he missing any limbs?” Remus asked.

“Oh, yes, Kettleburn is never in a good mood. Or was he dead? Binns can be a bit unfriendly.”

“No, he wasn’t either of those gentlemen. He seemed to think I should know who he was though.”

“I do hope Dumbledore hasn’t rehired Gilderoy in your place, Remus.”

“He did say something about knowing you, seemed to think I’d been in his house.”

“Ah, that’ll be Snape. You’ll want to steer clear of him. He’s a good man but never kind.”

“I’ll bet I can cheer him up,” Chamaeleon claimed.

Remus laughed, “Oh please do try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't really think we were done, did you??


	6. "You're sloshed Snape"

The beginning of the year came quickly, and while it was beautiful, it was worrying. Harry had been chosen, and while he was there for him, Chamaeleon couldn’t come too close to the boy who was not his godson. What was even worse was that Mad Eye, Harry’s new mentor, seemed completely unable to see through the disguise so he couldn’t even ask the man about how Harry was doing. It was odd that a man so paranoid could overlook something right in front of him.

Snape, however, was still hot on his heels everywhere he went. He hadn’t yet said anything to anyone else, but Cam knew he was still holding onto his suspicions. Even now, on his night to patrol he was running into the dungeon bat by the astronomy tower.

“Severus! Great to see you. What are you doing out so late?” Chamaeleon plastered a fake smile to his face. Snape wouldn’t have been a hard man to get along with if he didn’t make himself so unlikeable.

“You. When are you going to drop this?”

“I’m sorry?”

“This act!”

Chamaeleon sighed, “Yes, you’re right, I suppose.” Snape looked shocked. “I’m just tired from all the prep for the first task. I really am glad to see you, but I’m afraid I’m not up for much conversation.”

Snape sneered, purposely ramming his shoulder into Cam’s as he passed.

***

The first task took place the next day, and Harry did swimmingly. Chamaeleon was specifically instructed to let the students have free reign on the castle for the night for their celebrations. There was to be a convenient “mix-up” with the patrolling schedules. Since he was off for the night, Remus invited him to 12 Grimmauld Place for drinks.

Remus had been able to move out of Snape’s as soon as Chamaeleon came back. It was odd for him to be in his childhood home, really did make things much easier for his old fri- er, cousin.

The fireplace flared once more shortly after he’d arrived, and Snape tumbled through. Remus laughed, “You really can’t get the hang of those, can you?”

Snape shot him a halfhearted glare while he brushed the soot off his robes before he turned his attention to Chamaeleon. “What are you doing here?”

“Come now, Severus. He owns the place! Of course he came to join you lot.”

“Us lot?” Snape question before the fireplace flared behind him again and he had to hurriedly get out of the way. Pomona Sprout and Minerva McGonagall stepped through with Filius Flitwick close behind. They all had liquor bottles in their hands.

“What is this?” Snape demanded, turning back to Remus.

Chamaeleon answered for him, lifting his drink into the air, “A party!”

***

The professors were well and truly sloshed by the end of the night, and for some reason, Snape had given up on trying to go home. Just now, Remus and Chamaeleon were fighting over Remus’ bottle of rum.

“You really don’t need more!” Cam laughed.

“Sirius!” Remus coughed. “Seriously! You can’t just take a man’s liquor with no warning.”

“I knew it!” Snape roared, “You are Sirius Black!”

A hush fell over the room before several of the professors began to snicker.

“Cam, actually, remember?” Chamaeleon asked, pointing to himself.

“Honestly!” Minerva laughed, “We all knew you were well and truly obsessed with the boy in school but anyone can see that they are two separate people. They don’t even look alike!”

“Take off your glasses then.” Snape demanded.

Chamaeleon hesitated before Remus came to his rescue, “Well that’s not very nice. He can’t. He needs them to see.”

Filius and Pomona nodded sagely, “Yes, yes, that’s true.”

“I-I-” Snape couldn’t find his words in the face of something so ridiculous, and he slumped back into his chair, “Today has been a day.”

There were various murmurs of agreement. “I didn’t think Harry was going to live through the first task. How will he make it out of this alive?”

“Oh Minnie,” Remus wrapped an arm around her, “He’ll figure something out. He always does.”


End file.
